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This
excerpt, about Mr.Kumar Mangalam Birlas
memories of his grandparents, came beautifully
alive in a read by Mr. Rajiv Mehrotra.
I close my eyes and I am at the old Calcutta
airport, a speck on the map in east India
where my grandfather and grandma live.
I see my grandfather, faithfully present
in person as always, standing in the entrance
lounge with arms wide open to receive me.
"Kumar Mangalam," he says joyfully,
with an intonation that is uniquely his,
as he swoops me into his arms in a bear
hug and then leads me to the car, trying
to get in a word amid my incessant chattering.
Grandmother would always be at the gate
of Birla Park, an avalanche of love, warmth
and caring. I hear the crush of dried leaves
under my feet as I run into their house,
to meet relatives and cousins and to play
hide-and-seek amid rows and rows of flowering
trees and the smell of mogra. I taste the
fresh Bengali sweetmeats prepared
lovingly by family retainers who have been
there only forever. I remember being constantly
measured for my height and tested for my
weight. A page in my grandfather's large
diary kept a record of people's height and
weight. He was always concerned about my
being too thin. I was not fond of food at
all.
Grandmother
was loving but strict. She would always
tell me, 'These are very precious years
for you and you should try and not waste
a single moment; even a moment lost is an
enormous waste of time.' That stuck. She
can be tough, strict because she is herself
a very disciplined person; calls a spade
a spade gets to the crux of an issue
very fast; will always remember people's
names, personal anecdotes. She has an extremely
compassionate face, and possesses a deep
sense of duty and love toward the extended
family she and my grandfather touch
people's lives, and not just at the periphery.
They are with people through all their significant
moments in joy, celebration, grief
or loss. There is a deep sense of pride
and joy as we look at these two familiar
faces, which mean the world to us. They
are an extension of each other, they complement
and supplement each other yet each
gives the other a lot of space, one never
cramps the other's style. Like any other
couple, they have their share of mild differences,
which makes them even more endearing. To
me, my grandmother has been an ocean of
love who has disciplined me when
I have needed discipline about keeping my
room neat and tidy, eating at the right
time, respecting elders, small things which
add up.
The one thing I clearly remember is that
she has always wanted her children and grandchildren
to be people who will contribute to the
process of nation-building in whatever small
or big way. She believes in pushing herself
and expects the same from us. ( I don't
come close.) She is very empathetic. A quality
that is very rare in any context,
organisational or personal is her
ability to stay contemporary and change
with the changing times, and be happy to
change despite the fact that she is a person
with a strong will. As far back as the year
1941, and despite the fact that the Birlas
had quite a standing in society at that
time, she insisted on meeting my grandfather
before she would agree to marry him. This
is very telling about her personality, she
has always been a woman ahead of her times,
very contemporary and with a mind of her
own. My fond childhood memories came flooding
back recently when my grandfather and grandmother
who still live in the same house
in what is now Kolkata celebrated
their 64th wedding anniversary.
As a boy, I did not recognise the true gifts
from God that my grandparents were. It took
growing up for me to appreciate my grandparents
as real people who endured real struggles
and real disappointments but kept focus
on their faith and their family. When my
father passed away...the way they took it...they
had been by his bedside for three whole
months, and now he had gone. There was their
unshakable faith in God, and they were also
very conscious of the fact that they had
to be strong for the rest of the family,
which is easier said than done. There is
a very poignant moment which I will always
remember my grandfather sat me down
and said, ' There is a lot of hard work
ahead for you, and there are a lot of people
watching how you progress. While you have
to be independent in what you choose to
do, I am always there for you in any which
way you want me to be.' Here was someone
who, at 74, had just lost his only son,
which is a very difficult thing for a parent
to deal with, yet he was able to look beyond
his own grief. It was a defining moment
for me. Just his saying that was a great
source of strength to me; whenever I have
asked for advice, he has been there, but
at the same time he has been completely
non-interfering. He always jokes and says
to me, 'There are things about you that
I get to know only from the media'.
There
is a term for their attitude it is
stitapragya which means you
can flow in life with great equanimity because
of your faith in God.
My
grandfather and grandmother have not talked
about their faith, they have lived it. Their
lives have been an inspiration for their
children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren
and the countless others who are blessed
to know them.
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