Beating cancer

The Times of India
Rajashree Birla
16 November 2006

Combating cancer is like going on an uphill journey. Even when you do all the right things in life, and take the right steps along the way, death may overtake you.

This is the reality and we must accept it. That said, today there is tremendous advance in medical science, and in the way oncologists and support networks take care of the patient. So, by and large, cancer is beatable.

Death is an exception. This is one message that needs to be constantly reinforced. Let me tell you two stories.

The first story is very personal. It is about our family's brush with cancer. It is about my husband, Adityaji. As we were returning from Washington in 1993, a hoarding at the airport caught his eye.

It read: "If you are a man and over 50, you should have a prostate check-up. You may be suffering from prostate cancer".

And Adityaji's reaction was — let's have this check-up on priority in Bombay. He perhaps had an instinctive feel that somewhere, something had gone wrong. In the course of the check-ups, the doctors felt that it could be prostate cancer.

Doctors at Johns Hopkins, while confirming it, found that the cancer had spread beyond the prostate.

From 1993 to October 1995, when he passed away, he tried to live a life as normal as possible, barring the last four months that he was hospitalised. Even in this stage, he did not want word of his illness to spread.

He felt it would undermine the confidence of his employees, investors and customers. His illness was one of the best-guarded secrets.

He did not allow the family life to be affected. Throughout the ordeal, he showed extraordinary courage. He remained energetic and enthused at work.

He defied the pain of cancer. He would say, let us seize the moment. Every day that we wake up, we have to thank God, he would aver.

He began to develop a plan so that in any eventuality, we, the family, would not face hurdles or employees and shareholders encounter uncertainties.

He did not make cancer the big story of his life. To ensure continuity, he immediately inducted our son, Kumar Mangalam, headlong into the business.

Seeing him work incessantly gave us hope. Healing, in his case, did not happen. Because we discovered his ailment late, and in those days miracle drugs were not available.

But he realised that the end was near. He knew that we despaired. So he said to us, "It is not the number of years that you live, it is what you have packed in those years that matters".

His last words, before he slipped into a coma, were, "Be brave".

Even when we had no hope of his recovery, we did not ask God — Why us? We accepted the will of God unconditionally. I must admit though that at some point, I began to look within for spiritual strength.

I could do so only because of him. If I looked at him and saw death and fear, it would have rubbed off on me too.

But he was always smiling and it is this happy face that is etched in my heart. At one point he said, "I always want you to be happy and take life as it comes."

The next story is that of a young couple and their then six-year-old daughter who suffered from leukemia. For months at a stretch in hospital through three surgeries and a three-year break from school, this child did not let her spirit d;rop.

Today, she is a happy 11-year-old, studying, painting, singing and dancing as any kid her age would. Throughout these traumatic times, with the exception of the initial fortnight, this family of four took the ailment in their stride. So I asked the parents what saw them through.

And they said, an inner strength and an implicit faith in God. The family determined from the start that they would fight the cancer to the finish line.

With single-minded devotion, they slogged to get their little one on the road to recovery. The family would double up as cheerleaders and fun managers. They would keep the kid in good humour.

Studies were done at home. Alongside, movies were watched. Music and painting were taught at home. They believed that God has his own ways to send messages to us. We are born to be happy, but often God throws a googly. He also gives us the strength and courage to brave adversity.