Neerja and Kumar Mangalam Birla: Up, Close and Personal

By Suchitra Iyer
Society
June 2012

The reticent and low profile power couple, Neerja and Kumar Mangalam Birla, talk to Society about their emotional connect, their children's aspirations, their work and the factors that buttress their relationship.

He is perhaps the corporate world's most self effacing individual. He shies away from ostentation or publicity of any kind. And, considering that he is the Chairman of the humungous $35 billion Aditya Birla Group, 44-year-old Kumar Mangalam Birla's humility is worth every bit of appreciation. Being the scion of the Birla family, he is endowed with the altruistic vein by default. After all, the Birlas have been associated with charity, patriotism and nation building for ages.
Meanwhile, Kumar Mangalam's wife Neerja befits the Birla name perfectly. As far removed from any affectation or display of wealth and clout as her successful husband, Neerja has been quietly doing her bit in the field of education and is involved in a number of other charities. She is the Vice Chairperson of the Aditya Birla World Academy, an international school of repute in Mumbai.

The couple rarely gives interviews—barring a couple of to-the-point business interviews that Kumar Mangalam may give to business magazines. While as per Neerja's own admission, her husband is rather reserved, for her, it's simply not a priority. They may not be a part of the swish set that parties almost every night and their pictures may not scream out of Page 3—it's just not their cup of tea—but it is not difficult to fathom the magnetism in their relationship. It is solid and it is as if having been together for so long, Kumar Mangalam and Neerja's identities have merged, subconsciously, inadvertently. Their three children have only helped to further forge the beautiful bond.

Kumar Mangalam would rather prefer to unwind with movies or dinner with family after a gruelling day at work and Neerja, who enjoys devoting time to her kids—teaching them, d;ropping them to school and collecting them back, helping them pursue their passions—likes to be just around her family. So, socialising is out for the couple. A satsang, which is a regular feature in the Birla family, perhaps gives them more satisfaction. Not surprising, considering the family wakes up and spends the morning listening to the chants of Hanuman Chalisa.

"Everyone asks us what makes us such a charming couple. It's nothing but God's grace. We are no different. After 25 years together, everybody is in the same boat," says Neerja even as she laughs away the question I ask her about how she felt when she became a Birla bahu. "Please, that question is outdated now. I have lived here for more number of years than in my parents' home," she laughs. "Yes," joins in Kumar Mangalam. "She has almost grown up with me."

As an example of how much of a Birla she has become over the years, Neerja narrates a recent incident. They are constructing a dharamshala of 120-130 rooms at a spot called Mahaveerji—a big temple for the Jains and Neerja was rushing her father, who was meant to travel, to tie up loose ends of the project before he could leave. "So, when he called up the person concerned, he told him, 'Mrs Birla is here and in true Birla tradition, she wants to have it done yesterday.' So that's the influence," says Neerja.

Conflict of interests in any marriage is a given. But, as Neerja says, one just grows over them and gets used to them. You just learn to accept the person as a whole—with the bad and the good qualities. "Over a period of time, even the irritating quality of the other person becomes endearing," Neerja says. "When on a holiday, I am very hyper, I like to start my day early, go and see the sunrise, etc. I don't like to waste any time on my holidays. He (Kumar Mangalam) is not like that at all. He likes to take it easy, start the day late. We both know that is something about each other that we cannot change. I don't even believe in changing the other person. Why would you want to change something, because at the end of the day, a person is whole because of everything that is there in him," reasons Neerja sagely. Her husband agrees that though Neerja and he have different personalities, they complement each other. "Neerja is the force behind me. We married early. We share a c>ommon sense of values and our sensitivities are the same," he says.

Conflict of interests in any marriage is a given. But, as Neerja says, one just grows over them and gets used to them. You just learn to accept the person as a whole—with the bad and the good qualities. "Over a period of time, even the irritating quality of the other person becomes endearing," Neerja says. "When on a holiday, I am very hyper, I like to start my day early, go and see the sunrise, etc. I don't like to waste any time on my holidays. He (Kumar Mangalam) is not like that at all. He likes to take it easy, start the day late. We both know that is something about each other that we cannot change. I don't even believe in changing the other person. Why would you want to change something, because at the end of the day, a person is whole because of everything that is there in him," reasons Neerja sagely. Her husband agrees that though Neerja and he have different personalities, they complement each other. "Neerja is the force behind me. We married early. We share a common sense of values and our sensitivities are the same," he says.

As far as bringing up their three children is concerned Neerja wields more control on them. She says that their father has allowed her to influence them the most. She is not very pleased that the dirty job of disciplining them always falls on the mother while the fathers get to concentrate on the indulging and pampering part. Anyway, it is clear that between Kumar Mangalam and Neerja, it is she who is the active parent. "He has so many social and corporate responsibilities, it is only fair to take this off him. And, I am very happy to do that. His input is always there. Before taking any major decision, I always consult him and it is always a joint decision," she shares.

For his part, Kumar Mangalam is completely clued in with the progress of the children. He may not be around for every single occasion, but he knows exactly what's happening in their lives. He credits his wife for being the best mom any kids could have. He calls her the 'super mom' and talks about his contribution to their growing up, "Our children are growing up and they are always full of questions. We have healthy discussions on a range of subjects." Clearly, there can no better role model for the kids than their father.

Most people know that Kumar Mangalam had to suddenly take over the reins of the business at the age of 28 after the tragic demise of his father, the iconic Aditya Birla. The courage, fortitude and maturity that he showed on the face of such a grave tragedy was remarkable. That the young Birla took it upon himself to keep up with the momentum his father had generated in the business and determinedly took it to newer heights is a story often narrated. Neerja remembers the difficult period and admits that it was a huge loss, and besides having to deal with the tragedy, to take over the huge work was a big challenge. "But, he gracefully dealt with whatever came along his way in a very mature manner. He was very positive," she says. That she admires his focus and single minded determination is not surprising. She also calls him a simple soul.

As for Kumar Mangalam, who, in just 15 years, took the $2 billion company to a staggering $35 billion and from its presence in eight countries to a phenomenal 36, it was all about taking his father's legacy forward with single minded devotion. "My father's contribution to business, the economy and society at large can never be underestimated and that is my key motivator," says Birla.

Apart from the fame and wealth, to be a good Birla means tremendous responsibility. Success doesn't come to those who squander and the young Birlas better know this. Fortunately for Neerja and Kumar Mangalam, there has been no reason to worry. They have been given a normal upbringing by their normal parents and this has resulted in the children being grounded and rooted—away from the public eye. "They don't like to stand out in a crowd. They do not like the attention to be on them at all. So, they are always taking a step back," says Neerja. The parents are happy that though the children realise that they have certain privileges, they are able to deal with it in the right manner—by being grateful and not taking undue advantage of them.

Just like their parents, the Birla children believe in following their passion. Their eldest daughter, Ananyashree, who is 17, is inclined towards social work and business. For someone who is already learning the ropes of the family business by visiting the office regularly, it is only a matter of time when we will see the young scion taking important business decisions. Their 15-year-old son, Aryaman Vikram, has a passion for cricket and photography and not to mention, has the support of his parents for his hobby. In fact, last year, they had an exhibition of his works and all the proceeds he got, he gave to an animal shelter home called Apna Ghar in New Bombay. The youngest daughter, Advaitesha, is just eight and has a long way to go before she decides what she wants in life. Though Kumar Mangalam says the kids are very young to talk about their future, he says he would like them to follow their passion and dreams. "When you grow up in a business family, there is a lot of learning that happens at home. So, there would be a degree of interest in the business," he however adds. "They may eventually join the family business but we really want them to pursue their real calling," offers Neerja.

Coming back to what I mentioned earlier about the apparent magnetism in their relationship, apart from God's grace, which they attribute it to, it is the deep emotional connect that they share which makes all the difference. Spending Sundays together, going on family holidays twice a year (London is the family favourite), weaving one's activities around each other's schedules, subtly making your presence felt—all this while assuring not to stifle one's personal space and individuality—are some of the elements that help Neerja and Kumar Mangalam become the perfect couple. Kumar Mangalam calls his wife his best friend. "We got engaged and married very young and so we have a very close understanding of each other. We are also best friends besides being a couple," he corroborates. Neerja admits that they are emotionally dependent on each other and that's what makes their relationship work. Bouncing off issues and problem with each other is important for them. "We are two people who have grown-up together and have become a part of each other's life. The existence just merges into one," she says.

While Kumar Mangalam says he loves shooting, he is also a fitness freak and exercise is something that's a fixed feature in his demanding agenda. "I also like to read management books," he says. Neerja meanwhile would love to take up Kathak and revisit the joys of playing the Santoor that she used to years ago.

Meanwhile, whatever Neerja decides to do, she does it with great flair and perfection. And, her husband vouches for this quality whole heartedly when he says, "When she takes up a job, she sees it to completion. She goes that extra mile to complete the work at hand to perfection—whether it is at home or her school." Neerja however laughs about how her serious involvement causes others troubles. When you look at the Birlas' home, Mangal Adityayan, in the plush Carmichael Road area in Mumbai, you can immediately sense the personal touch, the aesthetic beliefs that have gone into designing it. Neerja has, as is her wont, gone into great details to ensure that the palatial house metamorphoses into a beautiful, loving home. Every piece of furniture, every accessory and even the colour of the upholstery has passed her keen muster. Not to mention the vibrant art pieces, considering that the couple are art connoisseurs. "Either I am fully involved or I am aloof," she says, as she jokes about having driven the interior designers batty in her search for excellence.

Even as Neerja talks about the calming effect the family matriarch Rajashree Birla has on the family, she says it is her grand parents-in-law who have influenced her life immensely. "They are my role models. They have laid down the importance of freedom and discipline in my life. They are the real followers of what's given in the Gita," says Neerja. For her, following that road is the ultimatum in life.

While Neerja seems to have found the right path, Kumar Mangalam, always the astute businessman, has set the target of doubling the group's revenue by the year 2015. Well, with the divine grace that the family is blessed with, coupled with a rock solid marriage cemented with positive thoughts and energy, what can be difficult to achieve?