Take charge of your life

Mrs. Neerja BirlaVice Chairperson, Education Projects of the Aditya Birla Group

Sunday Times of India
Mind over Matter
15 November 2009

Being master of the mind is no less than mastery of the worldEveryone constantly faces challenges — at home with our spouse, children or other family members; at work with our peers andbosses. Sometimes life itself seems a challenge because it throws up so many relationship-based and situational challenges.

But the biggest challenge of them all is one’s mind. Often, it is possible to control everything else but one’s mind. Being master of the mind is no less than mastery of the world. Chapter 6 of the Bhagavad Gita says “our mind is our best friend and our worst enemy. If we know how to manage our mind, we can manage our time, our relationships, our life, everything.

”This is where spirituality comes in. Swami Chinmayanand said, “spirituality is not a way to look at certain things, it is a certain way to look at all things.” It is the path to a mentally decluttered value-based life. It is also about managing relationships in different sorts of challenging situations. Spirituality teaches us control of our thoughts, emotions and desires. It is actually the science of managing one’s mind.

The result: A sense of well being, tranquillity and inner peace. It also c;reates the feeling that one is on top of the situation and in control of it, rather than the other way round. Spirituality is not bound by the confines of religion because it’s not about chanting prayers, undertaking pilgrimages or charitable work. It’s about much more than that. Contrary to what we all believe, spirituality is not just for mystics or old people.It is meant for everyone.

Life is beautiful but only if you really want it to be that way. This needs you to make a conscious decision to achieve your full potential and give your life greater meaning. Many of us are not aware of our potential. One must never let life slide by. Inspiration, curiosity, love, knowledge and enthusiasm give life its true meaning. We are said to be “living” life only when we experience happiness, love and fearlessness, not stress, anxiety, boredom and a sense of aimlessness.

It is possible to illustrate this from personal experience. Nearly 10 years ago, our family started to perform satsang. I was increasingly drawn to it after my interest was kindled by self-help books. The knowledge we acquire from scripture helps us grow as individuals. The beauty of scripture is that it imparts universal knowledge, which is relevant to each of us and possible to apply to our daily lives.

The truth is we need sincerely to try to enjoy every step of this journey called life. One is always waiting for something to happen to be happy. a;lternatively,
we wait to complete the job at hand and then enjoy the fruits of it. But that means we are always postponing happiness. Happiness is in the journey, not the destination.

It is important to do things we value because only then can we give 100 per cent of ourselves to it. Chapter Three of the Bhagavad Gita explains that this is about the concept of swadharma, or finding one’s true calling and following it sincerely. Once we value what we do, we start feeling good about ourselves. The self-esteem goes up. It also gives a sense of purpose and meaning to our lives.

Once we start to have some control over our actions and become more positive in our outlook, we may also find the law of attraction coming into play. Inexplicable events occur and we find things falling into place for us. They seem to be coincidence but that’s the law of attraction working for you. You attract what you think.We can align our inner world with the strong belief that whatever we wish for will happen. When you think positive, you get positive results. Letthe power of positive affirmation take over. It was well said that what you visualise is that you realise.

That brings me to another interesting thought. The capacity to sacrifice is something we must all reckon with. It is sacrifice that enables one to appreciate the real worth of what one does because it takes a great deal of effort, introspection and prioritisation to give away something. Sacrifice always brings joy and growth. An important aspect of sacrifice is that it requires you to go beyond your comfort zone, which c;reates a physical, emotional and intellectual blanket around us and prevents us thinking new thoughts.

We become prisoners of our selfc;reated comfort zones. We don’t open up to new people and become averse to criticism. We cling to the emotional crutches we have c;reated.

At the intellectual level also, we become stubborn. “It’s either my way or no way” is the constantly nagging feeling.

On the other hand, when we sacrifice something, seek something else and transcend our comfort zone, we are no longer scared of change and grow as individuals.

In real terms, most of us are averse to change and resist it.We fail to realise that everything is changing anyway, whatever comes has to go and it is pointless to cling to it. That’s when one can start to come to terms with life’s ultimate truth, that is, that change is the only constant.

The Bhagavad Gita says “when we live in this world, we experience the pairs of opposites — hot and cold, joy and sorrow, success and failure. They come and they go. And even while they are here, they are temporary.”

Most of the times, it is resistance to a changing situation, rather than the situation itself that c;reates conflict. Instead, one should face a situation as it is and refrain from colouring it with biases. Lapsing into “why me” or “why did it have to happen” makes for mental turmoil.

Through acceptance of a situation as it is, one automatically starts focusing on finding a solution rather than on the problem itself. And sure enough, one does come up with a sensible solution.

As Harivansh Rai Bachchan said, “Apne man ka ho to achha. Na ho to aur bhi achha. (If we get what we want, it’s good. If we don’t get it, it’s even better).”